Seeing the Topside of the Cross Stitch

I had one of those moments that keep you going for years recently. You know what I mean? That moment when you see a glimpse of the whys of life? It's like we go along in life seeing only the underside of the cross-stitch and if you're me, that means lots of mess-ups, knots, and lose ends. This moment allowed me to see the beautiful pattern God was fixing on the other side!

I went to the wedding of dear friends. The first person I encountered was a tall young man, quite handsome, who held my eyes and said "Hi Aunt Pam". I did not recognize him as someone related to me, but he gave me a smile and it looked amazingly familiar. I had to ask, "So who are you? Your smile is familiar..." He gave me his name and I immediately remembered.

Twenty-three years ago I was a brand new counselor at the local Crisis Pregnancy Center. One of my first clients was a young lady who was abortion minded. I was so inexperienced, and stumbled over my words but she and I hit it off and soon became friends. She decided to carry to term, and we tucked her under the wing of our family. She began coming to church. She gave her life to Jesus. When the baby came, our church family embraced her and her son. She was able to go to Youth With a Mission. She went back to school and became and RN. At some point in her life, she lost her way and ended up in two additional relationships which left her pregnant twice. She placed one daughter for adoption and the other parented.

I moved away, lost touch, except for an occasional phone call. I continued to do educating in schools for Pregnancy Support Centers. By the time I was 50, I felt too old to relate to high school kids. I withdrew from speaking and from involvement in the abstinence and abortion front. One day I received a call from a friend telling me that my client had
been found dead. I was devastated by the circumstances of her death. I grieved. I felt that my whole time as a volunteer was underlined with failure because of what had happened with my client.

Back to the wedding. This young man was my clients' son! He was a grown young man, and he was thrilled to find us again. He was a year older than my son, Jeffty and they joked around the whole evening. I wanted, once again, to tuck him under the wing of our family! I felt such a rush of love for him. Later that night, thinking over the miracle of the day I realized something. I got to be a small part in the Big Plan that God had for this young man's life. Because I was there that day, counseling with my inexperience and stumbling words, this young man was born! It gave those years of service such depth and meaning to find that I had been used by God. I felt the grief blotted out by joy.

We each struggle along, trying to be obedient. Doing our best to live out what we see Abba pointing to. Maybe you are like me, and mostly see the underside of things. The part where you messed up, or forgot, or lost your way. It gives me great comfort to know that He is taking care of those...creating beauty from our pathetic attempts. So even though He lets us do the stitching, He takes care of the topside.